growing old

 i think i actually want to grow old

to see wisdom in my face and to know i have outlasted many

but there is no triumph in knowing i have outlived species

sharing my own home to see them get ripped out

by people who should be friends

dishonoring our hospitality

i think i actually want to grow old

to walk through streets strung up in a system

that doesn't always cater to me as a street-walker

finding something to pick apart in my wrinkled skin

they will invent a new prejudice to hate through

before they ever acknowledge not everyone is the same

age.

the language i speak is not the language you speak

but we are both doing this in english

and i think i actually want to grow old

but i hope i live long enough

to see a new language be born out of something

other than tongue and air

a hug would be nice.

i think i actually want to grow old

to receive hugs but also be the hug giver

i want to grow old but i'm already there

my soul is more wrinkled than my skin

and i am still waiting for this vessel to catch up

i think i actually want to grow old

to live long enough to see people

embracing open arms

rather than running from the fist.